Message From A Father To His Unborn Daughter
Hey. It’s me. Daddy.
You probably don’t know me that well yet. But I’m the voice you hear every now and then that’s not your Mommy’s, and sometimes you probably feel my hands as I search for your head, arm, leg, or whatever body part you happen to be kicking Mommy with. Once you are born, you’ll see me a lot more often.
And in less than a month, you’ll be out here, in the real world. And it’ll be my responsibility to take care of you, make sure you are always safe and sound, and guide you on the path to becoming a strong, good woman. …I don’t know if I’m allowed to say this, but right now, I’m absolutely terrified. I’m your Daddy, but in many ways I still feel like a child myself. I haven’t always made the right decisions…went west when I should have gone east, didn’t act when I shouldn’t, acted when I should have just observed…its a fairly long list. If you ever let me ramble on about my various adventures, you’re probably well aware of many of my mistakes. You also have probably noticed that I made a lot of big leaps in my life. I moved away from the warmth and security of my parents home to go tackle this thing called college. And I left behind friends, family, and everything I knew to go to a land where I barely understood the language and school children wanted to poke me where the sun doesn’t shine. I agreed to share my life with a person from that strange land who doesn’t speak my native language. All of these things came with their own set of anxiety and fears, but let me tell you, what I feel now as you get ready to join us out here eclipses all of that.
I’m scared…but don’t worry sweetie, Daddy will always be here.
When you learn to ride a bicycle for the first time, I’ll be there to pick you up and bandage up your scrapes. When you get the lead in the school play, I’ll be in the front row taking video and embarrassing you by making stupid faces. When you get your heart broken by your first real crush, I’ll be there with a box of Kleenex and a bucket of ice cream. When you graduate from high school and beyond, I’ll be bragging about my smart baby girl to anyone in the stands who hasn’t run away from me yet. When you get your first job, I’ll help you open up your bank account. And when you do find the guy you decide to share your life with and start up a new family, I’ll be there to hand you off to him with my blessings.
Like I said, I haven’t always made the best choices, I haven’t always been right in the end. But I promise to grow up alongside you.
Right now you are still a moving mass inside your Mommy’s stomach. But I know that you are the future. And I want you to have a good one. I want you to be strong, able to take care of yourself when the time comes to strike out on your own. I want you to feel like you can do anything, achieve anything, so long as you want it and work hard for it. I never want you to feel that because you are a woman, there will be things you can’t accomplish. Don’t sit around and wait for life to come to you – go out and grab it.
I want you to be whoever you want to be. Don’t let anyone tell you to behave or think in a certain way. If you want to play with action figures and video games, Daddy will save you a seat next to him and show you how to throw hadoukens, and how to make Optimus Prime transform into a truck so he can run over his enemies. …Of course, if you want to play with dolls and dress up, that’s fine too. I may not understand it as well, but I promise to attend all your tea parties.
I’m not ready to be a father yet. I don’t know if anyone is ever truly “ready”. So I ask you now, forgive my mistakes. Understand that my fear is born from not wanting to fail you. But know that I’m here, and I will always be here, no matter what happens. So sit tight, continue to enjoy your time with Mommy, and when you are ready, I’ll see you out here.
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Gaijin Chronicles 
Holy shit, that made me CRY.
You’re going to be a wonderful dad. 😀
Actually, wait, scratch that. You already ARE a wonderful dad!
Beautiful sentiments, Az. :’)
Don’t worry, man. It’s going to be a wild ride in a month, but I’m sure you’ll be a fine father.
Well said Az. That’s EXACTLY how I felt when my kids were on the way. Still do.
*applause*
“Understand that my fear is born from not wanting to fail you.”
You are wiser than you think Az!
…From the glimpse you have given us into your life via this blog (and smash)…Its a safe bet you’ll make a brilliant father. Congrats again and well done.
jay
One hell of a good letter to your soon to be born daughter. Once again, “You the Man, Daddy Az”!! *tips my hat*
Oh you mean MEAN man!!!!! My two year relationship has ended today and I’d FINALLY stopped bloody crying so I thought “Yeah, I’ll read about Azreal’s adventures now, see if he’s been up to anything that’ll cheer me up”, but no, you make me cry AGAIN instead. Seriously though that was beautiful Az. I’ve been reading your material for what has to be going on 8 years now and I’m beyond happy for you. Stick to what you’ve wrote in the above because there’s no way you can fail if you do. I’ll leave it at that because I’m far too depressing right now lol. But yeah, good luck big daddy 🙂
Something got caught in my eye reading that…lousy allergies.
Your gonna be a good dad Az. Don’t worry. You got a big heart, and took care of other peoples kids for years in school. Your kid’s gonna have the best parents possible watching out for them.
“And for goodness sakes, DON’T marry a grass-eater”
Now that that’s out of the way, I can say that was beautiful Az. I’m a relatively new father (my son is 18 months) so it hit pretty close to home. Good stuff man.
If you manage a tenth of that, your daughter will only have a good example to look to. I’m praying for y’all.
Oh my how time have passed. Congratulations!
If you meant what you wrote, you have nothing to fear. You might make mistakes, but you will never fail her. I don’t know you personally, but I know part of you pretty well from lurking on your blog (some of the greatest and most honest writing on the net, IMO). The love that you have for her will insure that you can’t fail her. Just always come back to that love, and you’ll do just fine. Thank you so much for sharing that with us, and thanks very much for sharing your life with us. She’ll be the Moeko’s Owl you get to give to the world! Congratz and God bless.
;3;
I don’t think a child could ask for any better. I wish you the best of luck as you embark on the journey of fatherhood. This was very touching. Please keep us updated, we are wishing the best of luck in every aspect!
Sugar rush!
I still teared up, tho.
Beautiful
You’re going to be a great dad, Az. Your daughter’s lucky.
*sniff*
Oh my god, that was so sweet. I’m not normally a gushy person, but that made my eyes water ❤ Best of luck!!
So. Been reading you since the very begining, and always been a huge fan. When you wrote about your proposal, that decided me to propose to my girl myself. We got married shortly after you. Then whe you wrote that your wife got pregnant in january, it was the time when we decided to have a baby too.
I’m really happy that you will have a girl, we wish we could have a girl too.
But, it’s been 9 month and still nothing… 😦 My wife, who is japanese too, is getting really depressed that she can’t have a baby. Exactly like you wrote, all her friens are having babies, some already 2…
I hope it will come soon so we can be as happy as you ^_^
Life is full of choices Az, and i’m sure you made the right ones.
That was beautiful and uplifting to hear today, man. I think you’ll probably be a great father (don’t forget to post a cute pic or two when the day finally comes!).
Out of curiosity, I remember you and your wife were planning to move back to this side of the Pacific Ocean at some point. Is that still on the agenda, or are you going to sink roots there and raise your daughter in Japan?
I must that this is the most beautiful thing I have ever read. You will definitely be a good father.
It’s a beautiful letter. I am a father, so I understand the feeling. I did notice, however, that you made no mention of changing diapers. Infants often poop around 8-12 times a day. Breast-fed babies often poop after every feeding. On the other hand, breast-fed baby poop does not particularly stink. You may think it is odd of me to talk about poop, but it will become one of the main topics of conversation between you and your wife for the next six months. You may find yourself discussing poop with perfect strangers, and not just on the net.
Welcome to the Dads club Az. You’ll do fine.
fantastic post. congratulations and thank you, Az! Got a little teared up too.
If you are able to say all of that and mean it, as everyone else has already said, you’ll do fine. You’ve got the best of intentions for your daughter, so you’ll be a great father. I do not know your wife, but I’m sure she’ll be a great mother as well, and if you feel inadequate in any area, I’m sure she’ll be able to pick up the slack there. I wish the three of you the very best!
Beautiful put 🙂
Best of luck!
Hope you’ll send pictures out into cyberspace! Maybe let us gather some donations for a gift for baby girl, like in the old days of gaijin smash?
That is so sweet!!! Make sure you save this, and give your daughter a copy of her own when she’s old enough to read. She’s going to treasure it her whole life, even when she’s angry at you and pouting in her room as a teenager. I wish you the very best of everything with your daughter!
Az, I’ve followed your editorials for a long time, long before you moved them off Outpost Nine. You’ve made me laugh, you’ve warmed my heart; you’ve got a gift for words, man, and if you’ve expressed yourself anywhere near clearly in the years since you started all this, then based off your writing I’m pretty sure you’re one hell of a guy. I think you’re going to knock it out of the park. Just follow your gut instinct, and do what you think is right. It’ll all work out – maybe not the way you planned, but it’ll still work out.
As a daughter with an awesome father, I can already tell you’re going to be just fine. Most fathers don’t realize how much impact they make on their daughters’ lives. I don’t need to tell you this, you already understand, but you will make a huge difference in her life just by being there.
My dad took me out on nature walks and showed me lots of neat bugs crawling under dead logs. He sat on the couch and introduced me to Star Trek: TNG and The Simpsons. He taught me to BBQ on both propane and charcoal grills.
My father’s influence allowed me to grow up to be a well-rounded woman who can cook an awesome dinner and jump start a car. Dad taught me that I could do anything a guy could do, and I know that had he not been around, I wouldn’t be nearly as independent as I am.
I hope that when she reaches my age she’ll have the same sentiments about you as I do about my own father.
I agree most fathers today don’t realize how much they impact their daughters’ lives! Kids remember everything and everything counts!
Great letter. I felt like that with my first, and I’ve got a second one due in January. I still don’t feel ready for any of it, so don’t feel bad. It is a HUGE learning experience.
What happened to peddling your daughter as a jpop star and retiring off of the money she makes from that?
You’ve gotten soft Az!
Did I cry and get emotional after reading this?
Maybe….
man it doesn’t get really scary until she’s on the edge of puberty, and suddenly you notice that she get chased by boys a lot… course I tought mine how to stand her ground and strike if needs be. It’ll seem like a long time now, but every year that passes will bring you closer to that day she walks away… sons, you eventually kick out of the nest to see if they can fly, daughters leave when they are ready, and don’t look back.
More power to you 弟 … you’ll do well.
Been reading your articles for almost the past 5 years now and that was the best one hands down. You’ll be a great dad. Congratulations!
This letter was beautiful. Very well crafted. I can tell your years in college must have been in the language arts department because this was absolutely phenomenal!
I went to the doctor the other day to check if I had any allergies. After testing, he told me I didn’t. I think I need to go back because whenever I read emotionally charged text I drip a tear or two. Damn allergies getting in my way.
That’s beautiful =)
That’s really sweet. You’re much more mature than you give yourself credit for. You’re going to be a fantastic father Az. Best of luck Ganbatte!
That was beautiful Az, you will be a fantastic father.
Very inspiring, I wish her luck on being able to overcome and be everything you dream of! (with the exception of her dreams 😀 )
very touching and very beautiful … you’ll be a good dad, you’ll see!
Az, you’re a jerk. I really didn’t need to cry this morning.
I’d say still feeling like a kid is one of the primary requirements for being a good parent. And you’re going to be a fantastic one.
Oh my god, I cried reading this. Beautiful Az. That little girl’s gonna have the best father in the world.
So, here is the real question. At what age are you going to let her read your archives here?
My favorite entry yet Az. Good luck in the future, and best wishes to your daughter and wife.
Long time follower here.
Az, throughout the years, you made me laugh and made me sad.
Great entry. Don’t worry, you and your soon-born daughter will be fine.
I don’t know, I’d say that “going East” has actually worked out pretty well for you. 😉
Pre-congratulations, man. I can’t wait to read your rants when she gets to wanting to go on dates. X-D
you forgot the part where when she becomes a famous model/singer/actress/TV host you’ll be here to help her deal with all the money she’s making 😉
Also : did you 2 choose a name already ?
Please teach her that Kancho is bad!
Keep her off of the pole FTW
God, that was beautiful. Made me cry. You’re going to be a wonderful dad.
Godspeed, Az, Godspeed.
My father passed away about two years ago and it wasn’t until then I realized how lucky I was to have him. It’s hard going through college without him but I get by. A daughter’s relationship with her father is special, make it count; love her, be there for her. You’re going to be an amazing father; your daughter is lucky to have you.
Remember this when she comes home from her first day of middle school, and notices you have bent over to get something…. >:)
SNORE, more funny and insightful articles please you babylover.
Goodluck Buddy
Ull be fine, reading these comments may help settle your soul a little
but once she is here you will know what to do because its already within you just not unlocked atm
think of it like a secret character in street fighter you gotta pass the last level
and your on that level now, any day now you will pass that level and unlock
AZA SUPER DAD
SPECIAL POWERS: jokes, wisdom ,caring , loving ,advice and the special combo BEING YOURSELF
because that’s all you can be aza and that’s all she will need
Good Luck Az, You’ll be an awesome dad, just do your best.
Thanks for sharing this with us.. 🙂
Thank you so much for sharing that with us, seriously, that is such a touching message. I’m sure you’ll be the greatest dad (that teaches you hadouken) ever !
And now >_>…I’ll go cry in my dad’s arms now.
That was deep! You need to be an advocate of being a father in the states real talk! Because sadly, in America single mothers are common and every kid needs a mom and dad to be raised! I was raised by a single dad for a while and I turned out fine! But I don’t know if I would of been the same as today if it wasn’t for him! Every daughter does need her father just like in that John Mayer song. When I have kids I’m teaching them karate and sending them to a language school. But overall you’re gonna be a great dad!
That most def made me cry. I think you are going to be a wonderful father, Az sensei.
This is so sweet, it made me cry. I can say, and am entirely sure of this statement, that you will make a wonderful father to your little girl and she will grow up to be a wonderful person.
After reading your editorials for five years, I can honestly say you’ve grown to be an incredibly hilarious, but equally humble, human being.
The same kind of person I would want to be someday.
Wishing you all the best for you, your family, and your future. 🙂
Very moving.
As someone whose father has been a less than stellar role model and is now absent, I find myself a little envious of your little girl. I don’t think you have to worry about failing her. You’ve got a good heart and I know that you will love that little girl no matter what. You will make mistakes like any other human being, you’ll get into fights and she’ll hate you for a little while and stomp off to her room, but you’ll get past that. Thank you so much for sharing this with us.
If you love her and you try, you’ve done more than what anyone could’ve asked from you.
Been lurking for years, but never commented. However, this is a special occasion. So congrats, and buckle your seatbelt ! My first is now 21, the baby is 16. Seems like they were born about three weeks ago. My Mom always said time goes faster as you get older, but she never warned me I’d get whiplash. It’s been worth the wild ride, but I should warn you. Between (roughly) 13 & 18 there’s a good chance you’ll want to ring your lovely little daughter’s lovely little neck. Take a deep breath, practice your best poker face and keep loving her. Eventually she’ll turn back into a rational human being, and her estimate of your I.Q. will skyrocket.
I just stumbled across this on accident…but it was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever read..best of luck to you…from one gaijin tryin to do a life here with a beautiful Japanese wife to another….
Man, that was a really moving entry! You’re gonna be a great dad! No doubt about that! You’ve shared a lot of life experiences and advice with your readers through your stories. Don’t worry, you’re definitely able to be an awesome father. You ARE already!
Best wishes from Vienna, man!
Well, that wasn’t as funny as usual!… Okay, I’m kidding. That must be some incredible jump in the dark you’re making, here. Keep strong!
Woww cuteeeee. Best wishes Az!
Az, what are you going to do if she wants to play kancho with you?
Been a while I’ve been here (not that u may remember lol) and I come back to read this tear jerking letter. Real talk on the fear and others here have said, its evry guy wanting to do their job so its a good fear. Advise: Save evrything from when u started blogging online, with the comments if possible, cos it will make one hell of a scrap book ur daughter will love to read. Congrats again man to u and ur wife?
P/s: Not that its my business but just curious if ur folks are coming dwn for her birth?
Wow. Thank you so much for sharing that touching letter. I’m sure your daughter would love reading this in the future.
Been a reader and fan for five years now. 🙂 Thanks for sharing your life with us in such a frank, beautiful and entertaining manner as you’ve done for so long. It is a pleasure to read your work.
I was just shown your blog by a friend about a week ago. And somehow I managed to prove my lack of a life by reading the entire thing since then. It’s amazing how much you seem to have changed. Beautiful letter, and hope your girl gets to read it sometime; I’m sure she’ll love it. Good luck with the start of your new life!
Also, if I’ve been told correctly, I believe we’re from the same US University. I have plans to go into JET after I graduate as well, and I was wondering if you had any advice you’d be willing to share.
PS You’d be amazed at what has changed on this campus… so much renovation…
jesus, that was cheesy.
but since most fresh/soon-to-be parents behave like annoying morons, i’ll let it pass, this time…
Excuse me… I need to take a shot of Insulin…
……D’AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
I just so happened to be listening to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXHkG5G5qH8 on pown.it just as I started reading and it fit beautifully.
Az, I believe in you. I trust you will not fail, will not lead your future daughter astray, and will fulfill your role as soon-to-be father.
And when that’s all good and done, bring her back to the Bay and show her your hometown.
Cheers and good luck, Az.
Aw Man, you’re going to be a great father. Brought a tear to my eye.
She’ll have a great role model, and quite frankly I’m jealous of your daughter.
She gets to hear your words of wisdom and stories all the time and all we get is this blog.
I wish you the best of luck Az.
Wow, this was beautiful. You are a great father already! Your daughter is a very lucky girl. Best wishes to you and your family. =D
That is so sweet! You’re going to be an amazing Dad, I just know it. My dad tells me things like what you just wrote, and I think he’s the best dad in the whole world. So you have nothing to be afraid of, you’re going to do great.
That was one of the sweetest, most heartwarming pieces that I have read in a while Az. I truly do believe that you’d make a great father, and I wish you the best of luck in raising your daughter and the future of your family. Cheers.
You’ll be fine Az. Just don’t expect to get much sleep the first months 🙂
You probably get this all the time, but as someone who’s been reading since the early 2000s – aka the Outpost Nine days – I can’t even put into words how strangely proud I am of you. Congratulations and best wishes for the rest of your lives.
Fighting!! 🙂
Your heart’s in the right place, bro.
Wow. That was probably one of the best articles you have written. That came straight from the heart. I’ll be praying for you. Watch out for those crickets though…you don’t want your youngun to know about that fear.
Good luck. The idea of being a father scares me nevermind bringing one up in Japan.
I’m sure you’ll be an awesome dad AZ. I’m also sure your little girl will be the perfect mix of crazy Japanese and crazy Afro American. Don’t let that crazy blend get out of control!
Yeah, what the above posters said… And don’t forget to post pictures of your new blasian baby bundle of joy!_!
So…so…DAMN BEAUTIFUL
;_;
Hey Az, I have a Japanese wife down here in Australia, and can relate to much of what you’ve written. We are trying to get pregnant too, and I make my wife laugh with what I plan to do when our daughter becomes a teenager. I quite like the idea of sitting out on the porch with a rifle (not loaded, it’s just for effect) and simply point it at the boys who walk past the house. And say “keep moving son, I know exactly what you’re thinking about, I was fourteen once too”.
All I have to do now is:
a) have a daughter
b) buy a house with a porch
and my life will be complete! 😉 All the best with it.
Dude you’re articles are always so hilarious, but it was cool to see this message to your daughter!
Also being half Japanese half American, and I’m SURE you already know this well enough, but if you send your daughter to a regular Japanese school and not international, please speak English to her only! My upbringing was probably 80% English, so as for Japanese, I only started to learn it seriously from when i was 16, and it’s still difficult for me! It’s weird being half and yet having trouble speaking to my relatives….Please make it easy for your daughter 😉 but I’m sure you know this already 😀 Btw, next Crystal Kay maybe? haha